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5 Important Questions to Help You Figure out What You Really Want.

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“The time will pass anyway, you can either spend it creating the life you want or spend it living the life you don’t want. The choice is yours.” ~ Unknown

I used to be the queen of indecisiveness. I blamed it on my Virgo sun sign. But, really, my inability to make decisions came from believing I didn’t really know what I wanted. Eventually though, I realized most of it boiled down to fear and I came up with these 5 important questions to help make every situation, and what I wanted in it, crystal clear.

These questions work for just about every type of decision we have to make, so start askin’ away and you might just be surprised to find out what you really want.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Stuck

1. If no one else had any opinion about this, how would I feel?

It’s so easy to let what other people think cloud our own clarity. We often value other’s opinions over our own; and sometimes prefer to listen to others so we’re “off the hook” if it doesn’t work out perfectly. By filtering out other people’s opinions (or even smarter, not asking them in the first place), the voice that speaks to us most loudly about what we should do, will always be our own.

2. Is the fear of failure, or of success, standing in my way?

If failures were obsolete, we’d all be more aligned with our hearts. The fear of failure and humiliation are very real and very present during decision-making. Equally as important to pay attention to though, is the fear of success. When we succeed, our lives can change drastically too and sometimes, that’s just as scary. Gently looking at our fears is a great way to determine if our indecisiveness is because we’re scared to excel, or scared to fail.

3. If nobody’s feelings could get hurt, what would I do?

I have always had a major heavy heart about hurting other people’s feelings. This, I know, has steered me far from choosing what’s best for me, many times. Asking this question can be one of the most powerful. When we remove our fear of hurting others from the equation, we can usually quickly see what we truly want for ourselves.

4. If I wasn’t trying to be “practical,” what would I decide?

Feeling like we need to be “practical” and “reasonable” is often a limiting belief. Of course we do need to worry about some realities of life; but most times our limits are just created by rules we’ve been playing by our whole lives. And we never stop to think it might be good to change them. It’s ok to stretch our desires into the “fun” and “exciting” instead of the practical, extend beyond the safe boundaries of where we’ve been living, and know we can dream bigger for ourselves than we’ve been allowing ourselves to.

5. Will I survive even if it doesn’t work out?

Decisions are tough, but even when we believe we made the “wrong” one, we usually survive them anyway. One of the best ways to eliminate fear about figuring out and going after what we really want, is reminding ourselves that we’ll survive, even if things don’t turn our perfectly. Perspective is everything.

Now that you know what you really want, are you brave enough to choose it?

How to Follow Your Passion when People Doubt You.

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Ni

I’ve been so incredibly lucky recently. I’ve (finally!) discovered my absolute passion, the thing that makes me sprint home from work, makes me jump out of bed in the morning (I know!) and gives me natural energy. Writing and reading about all things inspirational and communicating with my readers is what keeps me going.

If you’ve been reading Purpose Fairy for a while, you’re probably in this category as well.  If you’re anything like me, you probably have people in your life who respond to this is various ways:

People who think you’re a bit weird and just leave you alone.

People who are curious, but don’t want to ask about it in case someone else finds out.

People who ask and then have huge ‘a-ha’ moment as you speak.

People who are crazy interested and completely on the same wavelength.

People who think you’re just going through a bit of a phase and roll and their eyes at you.

People who laugh at it and joke that you’ll end up in a hippy commune before you can say ‘incense’.

However, for years, I was unwilling to tell anyone know that I was interested in self-improvement and spiritually. I even managed to fool myself for a while and pushed it away for as long as possible. I didn’t want to look like I had my head in the clouds and definitely didn’t want to explain any of my reasons for dive-bombing into my passion and going full-steam ahead with it.

Would everyone say ‘I told you’ so if it failed? What if they spoke about me behind my back? What if they criticized me?

I’ve learned over time that the universe will bring people and events into your path for a reason. It’s so easy though when you’re totally ‘in the zone’, to ignore all these comments and fire on through because you want it so badly. But often the universe guides you through the messages of those close to you.

There will be times when you will encounter resistance from those around you, there will be moments when nobody will believe in you and your dreams but if

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~Steve Jobs

If someone chooses to ask about your interests, see this as a gift- they are giving their time and are genuinely interested in your life. Don’t presume they just being nice- you’ve obviously sparked something in them.

Hear their answers as much as you’d like them to hear yours- they might have some golden wisdom of their own, and they might even be able to help you or connect you with someone.

Listen to their concerns- they’re not always doing it to discourage you. Do you really need to spend thousands of dollars on that course when you could just start today? Are you procrastinating out of fear? Sometimes people see things that we don’t when we’re in our heads, and it’s these things that can real turn projects and ideas into game-changers.

Meditate on your passion and be sure it’s what you really what in your heart of hearts- are you doing it for you, or for someone else? Is this what you really want or are you doing it to prove a point to someone, or to yourself?

If people seem to be laughing at you, laugh with them- don’t take it so personally. All my friends know I’m vegan, a metaphysical book freak and I love wearing 80′s clothing, and I’m fine with that (more importantly, I realized, so are they). Passionate should be joyous, liberating and harmonious, not serious, rigid and stifling.

Listen to others and thank them for their words. Sometimes, people have a funny way of showing it (cue family!), but they always have your best interests at heart. But just think, are they reallyholding you back or are you using them as an excuse not to blossom?

 

Source: purpose fairy