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15 Reasons Why You Should Be Independent of the “good” Opinion of Others.

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“Be independent of the good opinion of other people.” ~ Abraham Harold Maslow

We are often flattered by appreciation and hurt by criticism. While it is true that approval boosts our morale and criticism depresses us, quite often an obsessive quest for approval becomes a psychological problem. People almost go in a mode of complete self-negation and keep devising ways to please others.

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This brings us to the importance of the need to think and act independently of what the people talk or think about us. It should, however, be noted that in our zest for independence we should not lose sight of the legitimate sensitivities of the people around us and also the need to remain with a certain amount of social discipline. Independent thinking does not mean being anarchic. Also we should be open to helpful and constructive criticism.

There are 15 reasons why we should not be obsessed with pleasing people to seek their appreciation.

1. Constant quest for appreciation may become a psychological problem.

Most of us who think that they are not getting the type and amount of approval they expect stop interacting with the people. They become introvert. The problem aggravates further when they try to create an imaginary world where they indulge in some sort of delusive self- talking especially with people whose favourable opinions and views they seek in the actual world, but cannot get.

“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.” ~  Mandy Hale

 2. We are all born unique individuals.

Spiritually speaking, each one of us is born as a unique soul with individual ‘sanskars’ or certain naturally endowed thought patterns. Trying to cramp them to fit into the thinking moulds of others would mean going against the very laws of divinity and nature. If you do not believe in spirituality, still, it cannot be denied that biologically each one of us has unique genes and DNA.  Forcing them to go against their natural course may prove counterproductive.

Nonetheless, independent thinking does not mean ignoring the accumulated wisdom of the ages. It also includes listening attentively to the views of those who love and care for us and balance them with our own specific biological and spiritual needs.

3. Chasing approval from others may distract us from working to achieve our goals.

It dilutes our focus on what we really wish to pursue and may ultimately impede our progress and happiness resulting out of it.

“Do not look for approval except for the consciousness of doing your best.” ~ Andrew Carnegie

4. How many people can you please by seeking their approval?

There are hordes of them and each one has their own tastes, likes and dislikes. In trying to please everyone it is likely you end up displeasing most of them.

“People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most.” ~ Wayne Dyer

5. Independent thinking is essential for personal and social evolution.

What would have happened if Darwin had listened to the opinions of the ‘respected people’ of the society of those days and stopped pursuing his theory of evolution?

6. Truly independent people follow their own heart and soul even at great risks.

Socrates preferred to drink hemlock rather please the people in authority and seek their approval and live like their slave. He lived and died like truly free and fearless man.

7. Constant anxiety to seek approval from others causes tension and depression.

You are always looking sideways to see if someone is looking and risk losing your chosen path.

8. Anxiety about approval or disapproval suppresses creativity.

You need to follow your instincts to live a truly joyous and happy life.

“I too will something make
And joy in the making!
Altho’ tomorrow it seem’
Like the empty words of a dream
Remembered, on waking.” ~ Robert Bridges

9. Hypocrisy and self-deception

Working to always please others is self-defeating hypocrisy and dishonesty. You force yourself to obey others even if you think they are wrong. “It is not doing what you believe is wrong or right but what others believe is right or wrong for you”. In process you do not live for the pleasure of yourself, but for others. You are killing your soul.

10. Seeking approval is like living an imagined life in others’ breath.

Any person can breathe-blow you away like a useless piece of tiny straw.

11. Fear of approval or disapproval dissipates the raw, virginal and primordial instincts and feelings that our spirit is endowed with when we are born.

It kills the purity, simplicity, joy and innocence of our soul.

“The older I get, the less I care about what people think of me. Therefore the older I get, the more I enjoy life.” ~ Unknown

12. Fear of approval and disapproval kills initiative

Ability to take free and fearless initiative is the driving force for the evolution of self and society. It is the basic quality that defines true leadership that is marked by taking bold decisions regardless of what people think of you.

13. You live an artificial rather than a natural life.

If you follow your own instincts you can fly in the soaring heights of the limitless skies. On the other hand, you stay caged like a parrot with your wings clipped, howsoever beautiful and colourful you may look. You become a slave of others rather than being a master of your own free will.

14. Seeking appreciation of others stifles your divine powers of intuition, clairvoyance and foresight.

Most people stifle their innate divine powers of intuition and clairvoyance under the pressure of approval and disapproval of people around them.

15. Fear of disapproval leads to constrained and regimented living.

Quite often you come to grief for following the approval of others rather than your own instinct.

Anti-Fungal Drug Not Tied to Most Birth Defects.

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Although some reports have shown that high doses of the anti-fungal drugfluconazole (Diflucan) may raise the risk of birth defects, a new Danish review finds that more commonly prescribed lower doses of the medicine do not carry the same dangers.

Yet, in spite of this reassurance, experts may remain reluctant to prescribe the drug for expectant mothers who have yeast infections, since it is still linked to an increased risk of a rare congenital heart problem called tetralogy of Fallot.

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“Many pregnant women suffer from a yeast infection called vaginal candidiasis, or vaginal thrush, which is the most common clinical indication for use of oral fluconazole,” explained lead researcher Ditte Molgaard-Nielsen, an epidemiologist at the Statens Serum Institute in Copenhagen.

First-line treatment for vaginal candidiasis during pregnancy is vaginal preparations of topical anti-fungal drugs, she noted.

“However, in cases when topical treatment is ineffective this study provides comprehensive safety information, and may help inform clinical decisions when treatment with oral fluconazole is considered in pregnancy,” Molgaard-Nielsen said.

Specifically, the researchers looked at 15 birth defects linked to fluconazole and found it was not associated with an increased risk for 14 of them, she said.

“However, we did see an increase in the risk of tetralogy of Fallot, an uncommon congenital heart defect, but the number of exposed cases were few and this association should be confirmed in other studies before anything can be concluded with any certainty,” Molgaard-Nielsen added.

The report was published Aug. 29 in the New England Journal of Medicine.

Dr. Scott Berns, senior vice president and deputy medical officer for the March of Dimes, said that “when pregnant it is important to avoid taking any medicines unnecessarily.”

“I would chose the topical drug to treat a yeast infection. That is my first line,” he said. “If I had to use oral fluconazole, this study is reassuring that most of the time the baby is going to be fine. But, there is that small chance of tetralogy of Fallot. So, why take that chance?”

Another expert doesn’t think these findings will change clinical practice.

“Ob/Gyns are still going to be reluctant to prescribe this drug,” said Dr. Kecia Gaither, director of maternal fetal medicine at Brookdale University Hospital and Medical Center in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Gaither prefers to use natural methods for treating yeast infections. “One of them is increasing the use of yogurt intake,” she said. “There is certain bacteria in yogurt that prevents yeast infections. I have not run into a person who continues to have recurrent yeast infections after that is done.”

For the study, Molgaard-Nielsen’s team collected data on more than 7,300 women who took fluconazole during their pregnancy, among whom 210 infants were born with birth defects, and compared them to a control group of more than 968,000 unexposed women, among whom more than 25,000 babies were born with birth defects.

In both groups, the risk for having an infant with a birth defect was 0.6 percent, the researchers found.

Moreover, fluconazole wasn’t linked to a significantly increased risk for 14 of 15 birth defects to which the drug had been previously linked, they added.

These include craniosynostosis (a defect in the baby’s skull), middle ear defects, cleft palate, cleft lip, limb defects, an abnormal number of finger or toes, fused fingers or toes, diaphragmatic hernia, heart defects and shifting of a lung.

There was, however, a significantly increased risk of tetralogy of Fallot, with seven cases (0.10 percent) among women who took fluconazole, compared with 287 cases (0.03 percent) in unexposed women, the researchers found.

According to the U.S. National Institutes of Health, tetralogy of Fallot is a rare, complex birth defect where four different areas of the heart are malformed and the heart cannot pump enough blood or oxygen to the rest of the body. Surgery is usually required shortly after birth, although the long-term outlook for these patients has improved greatly in recent years.

Source: Drugs.com