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Hospital Room Lighting May Worsen Your Mood and Pain.

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Story at-a-glance

  • Hospital patients are exposed to insufficient levels of light, disrupting both their circadian rhythms and sleep cycles
  • Light-deprived patients had fragmented and low levels of sleep, and those with the lowest exposures to light during the day reported more depressed mood and fatigue
  • Inadequate bright-light exposure has a far-reaching impact on your most critical bodily functions, including your ability to heal
  • Exposure to night-time light may also hinder the production of the hormone melatonin, which is very important for immune health
  • If you or a loved one is confined to a hospital room, move to areas with brighter natural light as much as possible, or bring in some full-spectrum light bulbs, and wear an eye mask at night to block night-time artificial light exposures

Hopefully you have never spent much time in a hospital, but if you have you likely experienced frequent disruptions to your sleep.

Aside from the beeping machines and nightly checks from hospital staff, your room was probably dimly lit with artificial light both day and night — a major impediment to proper sleep and well-being.

As a new study in the Journal of Advanced Nursing1 revealed, the lighting in many hospital rooms may be so bad that it actually worsens patients’ sleep, mood and pain levels.

Hospital-Room Lighting May Lead to Disrupted Sleep Cycles, Increased Pain and Fatigue

The study found that, on average, hospital patients in the study were exposed to about 105 lux (a measure of light emission) daily. This is a very low level of light; for comparison, an office would generally provide about 500 lux and being outdoors on a sunny day could provide 100,000 lux.2

The rooms were so dimly lit that many hospital patients had trouble sleeping. Your body requires a minimum of 1,500 lux for 15 minutes a day just to maintain a normal sleep-wake cycle, but ideally it should be closer to 4,000 for healthful sleep.3

Not surprisingly, the researchers found that the patients’ sleep time was “fragmented and low,” with most averaging just four hours of sleep a night.

Those with the lowest exposures to light during the day also reported more depressed mood and fatigue than those exposed to more light. The researchers noted:4 “Low light exposure significantly predicted fatigue and total mood disturbance.”

Why You Need Exposure to Bright Light During the Day

When full-spectrum light enters your eyes, it not only goes to your visual centers enabling you to see, it also goes to your brain’s hypothalamus where it affects your entire body.

Your hypothalamus controls body temperature, hunger and thirst, water balance and blood pressure. Additionally, it controls your body’s master gland, the pituitary, which secretes many essential hormones, including those that influence your mood.

Exposure to full-spectrum lighting is actually one effective therapy used for treating depression, infection, and much more – so it’s not surprising that hospital patients deprived of such exposures had poorer moods and fatigue.

Studies have also shown that poor lighting in the workplace triggers headaches, stress, fatigue and strained watery eyes, not to mention inferior work production.

Conversely, companies that have switched to full-spectrum lights report improved employee morale, greater productivity, reduced errors and decreased absenteeism. Some experts even believe that “malillumination” is to light what malnutrition is to food.

In a hospital setting, this has serious ramifications, as patients are already under profound stress due to illness and may be further stressed by a lack of natural bright light.

Your ‘body clock’ is also housed in tiny centers located in your hypothalamus, controlling your body’s circadian rhythm. This light-sensitive rhythm is dependent on Mother Nature, with its natural cycles of light and darkness, to function optimally.

Consequently, anything that disrupts these rhythms, like inadequate sunlight exposure to your body (including your eyes), has a far-reaching impact on your body’s ability to function and, certainly, also on its ability to heal.

Nighttime Light Exposure is Also Detrimental

While the featured study didn’t focus specifically on hospital patients’ nighttime light exposures, they’re likely to be significant. Most hospital room doors remain ajar all night, allowing artificial light from the hall to flood the room. There are also lights on medical equipment and monitors, and if your room is not private you may also be exposed to light from a roommates’ television or bathroom trips.

This is important because just as your body requires bright-light exposure during the day, it requires pitch-blackness at night to function optimally – which is all the more critical in the case of a hospital stay when bodily self-healing is most needed.

When you turn on a light at night, you immediately send your brain misinformation about the light-dark cycle. The only thing your brain interprets light to be is day. Believing daytime has arrived, your biological clock instructs your pineal gland to immediately cease its production of the hormone melatonin – a significant blow to your health, especially if you’re ill, as melatonin produces a number of health benefits in terms of your immune system. It’s a powerful antioxidant and free radical scavenger that helps combat inflammation.

In fact, melatonin is so integral to your immune system that a lack of it causes your thymus gland, a critically important part of your immune system, to atrophy.5 In addition, melatonin helps you fall asleep and bestows a feeling of overall comfort and well being, and it has proven to have an impressive array of anti-cancer benefits.6 So unnaturally suppressing this essential hormone is the last thing that a recovering hospital patient needs.

If a Loved One is In the Hospital, Let the Daylight Shine In

The best way to get exposure to healthy full-spectrum light is to do it the way nature intended, by going out in the sun with your bare skin – and ‘bare’ eyes — exposed on a regular basis. If you or a loved one is confined to a hospital room, however, the next best option is to move to areas with brighter natural light as much as possible, or alternatively bring in some full-spectrum light bulbs.

At night, the opposite holds true. You should turn off lights as much as possible, keep the door closed and close the blinds on the window. Wearing an eye mask is another simple trick that can help to keep unwanted light exposures to a minimum if you’re spending the night in a hospital. Taken together, these are simple ways to boost mood and improve sleep and fatigue levels among hospitalized patients.

The Other Major Risk of Spending Time in a Hospital

No matter how important it is, poor lighting may be the least of your worries if you find yourself hospitalized, as once you’re hospitalized you’re immediately at risk for medical errors, which is actually a leading cause of death in the US. According to the most recent research7 into the cost of medical mistakes in terms of lives lost, 210,000 Americans are killed by preventable hospital errors each year.

When deaths related to diagnostic errors, errors of omission, and failure to follow guidelines are included, the number skyrockets to an estimated 440,000 preventable hospital deaths each year!

One of the best safeguards is to have someone there with you. Dr. Andrew Saul has written an entire book on the issue of safeguarding your health while hospitalized. Frequently, you’re going to be relatively debilitated, especially post-op when you’re under the influence of anesthesia, and you won’t have the opportunity to see clearly the types of processes that are going on.

For every medication given in the hospital, ask, “What is this medication? What is it for? What’s the dose?” Take notes. Ask questions. Building a relationship with the nurses can go a long way. Also, when they realize they’re going to be questioned, they’re more likely to go through that extra step of due diligence to make sure they’re getting it right—that’s human nature. Of course, knowing how to prevent disease so you can avoid hospitals in the first place is clearly your best bet. One of the best strategies on that end is to optimize your diet. You can get up to speed on that by reviewing my comprehensive Nutrition Plan.

It’s Important for Virtually Everyone to Optimize Light Exposure: 5 Top Tips

Getting back to the issue of lighting, this isn’t only an issue for hospital patients. Virtually everyone requires exposure to bright light during the day and darkness at night for optimal health. Toward that end, here are my top tips to optimize your light exposure on a daily (and nightly) basis:

1.    Get some sun in the morning, if possible. Your circadian system needs bright light to reset itself. Ten to 15 minutes of morning sunlight will send a strong message to your internal clock that day has arrived, making it less likely to be confused by weaker light signals during the night. More sunlight exposure is required as you age.

2.    Make sure you get BRIGHT sun exposure regularly. Remember, your pineal gland produces melatonin roughly in approximation to the contrast of bright sun exposure in the day and complete darkness at night. If you work indoors, make a point to get outdoors during your breaks.

3.    Avoid watching TV or using your computer in the evening, at least an hour or so before going to bed.These devices emit blue light, which tricks your brain into thinking it’s still daytime. Normally your brain starts secreting melatonin between 9 and 10 pm, and these devices emit light that may stifle that process.

4.    Sleep in complete darkness, or as close to it as possible. Even the slightest bit of light in your bedroom can disrupt your biological clock and your pineal gland’s melatonin production. This means that even the tiny glow from your clock radio could be interfering with your sleep, so cover your alarm clock up at night or get rid of it altogether. You may want to cover your windows with drapes or blackout shades, or wear an eye mask while you sleep.

5.    Install a low-wattage yellow, orange or red light bulb if you need a source of light for navigation at night.Light in these bandwidths does not shut down melatonin production in the way that white and blue bandwidth light does. Salt lamps are handy for this purpose.

 

 

 

 

Effects of Sulfonylureas on Tumor Growth.

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Type 2 diabetes mellitus patients are at higher cancer risk, probably because of hyperinsulinemia and insulin growth factor 1 pathway activation. The effects of antidiabetic drugs on cancer risk have been described and discussed in several studies suggesting opposite effects of the biguanide metformin and sulfonylureas on cancer incidence and mortality. The anticancer mechanisms of metformin have been clarified, and some clinical studies, particularly in breast cancer patients, have been published or are currently ongoing; however, data about the effects of sulfonylureas on cancer growth are less consistent. The aims of this work are to review preclinical evidence of second-generation sulfonylureas effects on tumor growth, to clarify the potential mechanisms of action, and to identify possible metabolic targets for patient selection. Most evidence is on the adenosine triphosphate-sensitive potassium channels inhibitor glibenclamide, which interacts with reactive oxygen species production thus inducing cancer cell death. Among diarylsulfonylureas, next-generation DW2282 derivatives are particularly promising because of the proapoptotic activity in multidrug-resistant cells.

 

Source: The Oncologist.

 

Aiming for a Better Understanding and Management of Cancer-Related Fatigue.

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Cancer-related fatigue (CRF) is a serious symptom of patients with cancer and deteriorates their daily quality of life. Whereas fatigue is a common problem in the general population, with a prevalence of about 30%, up to 99% of patients with cancer have fatigue of more intense severity. CRF is directly related to the biology of cancer, but it can also be caused by anticancer treatment. We reviewed current evidence about the potential pathophysiological mechanisms causing CRF. Clinical methods to determine the presence and severity of CRF and potential treatment options to reduce CRF will be discussed. After reading this review, the reader will have knowledge of the current understanding of CRF and will be able to give evidence-based advice to patients with CRF.

 

Source: The Oncologist.

Drug companies bought their way onto FDA advisory panels.

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It is now an undeniable fact that the pharmaceutical industry weaseled its way onto key U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) advisory panels, which were instrumental in shaping the way drugs are safety tested and approved. According to The Washington Post (WP), a recent public records request has revealed that drug companies purchased special access onto these panels, where they were given the keys to the kingdom in swaying decision-makers about official drug policy.

Based on critical information gathered from hundreds of leaked emails, pharmaceutical companies have doled out hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years to attend private meetings with the FDA, many of which were geared towards the regulation and approval of painkiller drugs. Drug companies would reportedly shell out upwards of $25,000 or more per meeting to have their voices heard, a small price to pay for direct access to the $9 billion American painkiller market.

According to the WP, officials from both the FDA and the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH) would regularly meet with pharmaceutical representatives in private to discuss regulatory protocols, co-write scientific papers and collaborate on various ways to help streamline the drug approval process. And the only parties who actually paid to attend such meetings were the drug companies, a fact that one official from the NIH expressed serious concerns about in an email, referring to the whole scheme as a “pay to play process.”

Others who have since reviewed the emails agree, noting that, while the FDA did not necessarily benefit financially from these private meetings, many FDA officials went on to work as pharmaceutical consultants. In other words, FDA staff who agreed to grease the palms of the drug industry during these private meetings were later rewarded with high-paying positions in the drug industry. This is just one glaring example of how the line between the regulator (FDA) and the regulated (pharmaceutical companies) has been blurred beyond recognition.

“These e-mails help explain the disastrous decisions the FDA’s analgesic division has made over the last 10 years,” said Craig Mayton, the Columbus, Ohio, attorney who made the public records request to the University of Washington, to the WP. “Instead of protecting the public health, the FDA has been allowing the drug companies to pay for a seat at a small table where all the rules were written.”

Big Pharma, FDA corruption runs deep

It is no longer a conspiracy theory, then, that the drug industry owns the FDA. In this particular case, it was two academics by the names of Robert Dworkin, from the University of Rochester, and Dennis Turk, from the University of Washington, who allegedly orchestrated the painkiller plot. But there have been many other plots with the same ultimate end, a fact that NaturalNews and many others in the so-called “alternative” media have been shouting from the rooftops for years, but that the mainstream media has ignored, until now.

“Shame on the FDA and NIH for sending representatives to this panel, cooked up by two unethical professors and their drug company cronies,” wrote one WP commenter about the scandal. It should be noted that FDA officials actively participated in the painkiller scheme, all the while knowing full well that the private meetings they attended were hatched by Big Pharma. “Congress should come down hard on both agencies for participating in what was clearly pay-to-play, with awful consequences for the health of many suffering Americans.”

Such consequences include a flood of dangerous analgesic drugs to the market that were approved based on questionable or flawed safety studies. According to MedpageToday.com, the drug industry was successful during these meetings in convincing the FDA to adopt an “enriched enrollment” guidance for safety trials that eliminated patients who experienced adverse reactions. These and other modifications made it much easier for drugs to be declared safe and effective, and thus gain rapid approval.

Source: NaturalNews.com

         

Witnessing hateful people in pain modulates brain activity in regions associated with physical pain and reward.

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How does witnessing a hateful person in pain compare to witnessing a likable person in pain? The current study compared the brain bases for how we perceive likable people in pain with those of viewing hateful people in pain. While social bonds are built through sharing the plight and pain of others in the name of empathy, viewing a hateful person in pain also has many potential ramifications. In this functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) study, Caucasian Jewish male participants viewed videos of (1) disliked, hateful, anti-Semitic individuals, and (2) liked, non-hateful, tolerant individuals in pain. The results showed that, compared with viewing liked people, viewing hateful people in pain elicited increased responses in regions associated with observation of physical pain (the insular cortex, the anterior cingulate cortex, and the somatosensory cortex), reward processing (the striatum), and frontal regions associated with emotion regulation. Functional connectivity analyses revealed connections between seed regions in the left anterior cingulate cortex and right insular cortex with reward regions, the amygdala, and frontal regions associated with emotion regulation. These data indicate that regions of the brain active while viewing someone in pain may be more active in response to the danger or threat posed by witnessing the pain of a hateful individual more so than the desire to empathize with a likable person’s pain.

 

Lymph node micrometastasis in gastrointestinal tract cancer—a clinical aspect.

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Abstract

Lymph node micrometastasis (LNM) can now be detected thanks to the development of various biological methods such as immunohistochemistry (IHC) and reverse transcription-polymerase chain reaction (RT-PCR). Although several reports have examined LNM in various carcinomas, including gastrointestinal (GI) cancer, the clinical significance of LNM remains controversial. Clinically, the presence of LNM is particularly important in patients without nodal metastasis on routine histological examination (pN0), because patients with pN0 but with LNM already in fact have metastatic potential. However, at present, several technical obstacles are impeding the detection of LNM using methods such as IHC or RT-PCR. Accurate evaluation should be carried out using the same antibody or primer and the same technique in a large number of patients. The clinical importance of the difference between LNM and isolated tumor cells (≤0.2 mm in diameter) will also be gradually clarified. It is important that the results of basic studies on LNM are prospectively introduced into the clinical field. Rapid diagnosis of LNM using IHC and RT-PCR during surgery would be clinically useful. Currently, minimally invasive treatments such as endoscopic submucosal dissection and laparoscopic surgery with individualized lymphadenectomy are increasingly being performed. Accurate diagnosis of LNM would clarify issues of curability and safety when performing such treatments. In the near future, individualized lymphadenectomy will develop based on the establishment of rapid, accurate diagnosis of LNM.

Source: International Journal of Clinical Oncology

An update on the use and investigation of probiotics in health and disease.

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Abstract

Probiotics are derived from traditional fermented foods, from beneficial commensals or from the environment. They act through diverse mechanisms affecting the composition or function of the commensal microbiota and by altering host epithelial and immunological responses. Certain probiotic interventions have shown promise in selected clinical conditions where aberrant microbiota have been reported, such as atopic dermatitis, necrotising enterocolitis, pouchitis and possibly irritable bowel syndrome. However, no studies have been conducted that can causally link clinical improvements to probiotic-induced microbiota changes. Whether a disease-prone microbiota pattern can be remodelled to a more robust, resilient and disease-free state by probiotic administration remains a key unanswered question. Progress in this area will be facilitated by: optimising strain, dose and product formulations, including protective commensal species; matching these formulations with selectively responsive subpopulations; and identifying ways to manipulate diet to modify bacterial profiles and metabolism.

Source: BMJ

15 Ways to Change Your Thoughts and Transform Your Life.

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“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The nature of our thoughts determines the quality of our life-whether it is sad, happy and contented. Happy, optimistic, positive thoughts, emotions and feelings generate a zing in our system which makes the blood flow freely and heart beat joyously. They create a spring in our feet and spur us to action.  Let us remember the age-old saying that the mind- thoughts- can move the mountains. Pessimistic, sad and gloomy thoughts, on the other hand, create inertia and force us to stay bed-bound.

Our actions are the practical manifestations of our thoughts

It is quite clear, therefore, that we must bring about a change in the way we think in order to create happiness and sense of fulfilment in our life. A good thing about our brain is that it willingly adopts any changes that we bring about in our thinking patterns.

change-your-thoughts

Here is a list of 15 ways you can change your thoughts and give a positive direction to your life.

1. Create positive affirmations

Affirmations are not always positive.  They can be negative as well. The hexes created by the witches are negative affirmations.

The truth is that most people are given to making negative affirmations. When you think repeatedly that you are not going to succeed in a particular project, it is a negative affirmation. Affirmations, both negative and positive impact the neurological functioning of the brain.

Positive affirmations are like mantras. They have a sacred and spiritual force about them. Let us be clear about creating positive affirmations. They should not be normative or weak.

Thoughts such as I ‘should’, ‘ought to’ or’ abstain from’ are normative.

Examples of negative affirmations are:  ‘I can’t’ do this. It is ‘quite difficult’.  On the hand, affirmations should be forceful and determined such as ‘I can’, ‘I will’, or ‘I am going to’. As mentioned above, your brain is always adapting to your thought patterns and directs your organs to act accordingly.

 2. Learn to apply full stop

We keep mulling over our misfortunes, the perceived wrongs committed to us by those who we have loved and stood by so sincerely. We never stop cursing ourselves for the mistakes that we think we have committed. What would have happened if I had done this or that? What would happen if I do this or that in future?

This is not to suggest we should not learn from our past mistakes or plan our future intelligently. The only thing is we should stop thinking over and over once we have learnt from our past and decided about our future.

3. Let go of the need to be masochistic

Quite often we love to wallow in our misery. We enjoy creating self-punishing thoughts or being gloomy and pessimistic. Here is an example:

“If I start selling candles, the sun will stop setting,

If I start selling shrouds, people will stop dying.”

I was born unlucky. Nothing good will ever occur to me.

Such thoughts not only cause harmful impact on the mind, but they adversely affect your physical health as well.

4. Count your joys and blessings

Most people take their joys and blessings for granted and start grumbling about what they do not have; or, when they are faced with problems and troubles. Just think of those who are less fortunate than you. Or, think of situation that could have been worse than it is now. You are crying because have hurt your knee in an accident. What, if the leg itself had broken? See the filled half of the glass for satisfaction and the empty half with a resolve to fill it.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~ Melody Beattie

5. Appreciate and enjoy what you already have

This is not to suggest that you should not aspire for a still better life. Enjoy whatever amount of success you have achieved instead of feeling sad about what you have not been able to achieve. There is nothing wrong with always fixing higher benchmarks or goals, but failure to reach them should not spoil your enjoyment of what you already have.

“If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.” ~ Lao Tzu

6. Savour the joys of your achievements

It is one thing to achieve your goal; it is another to enjoy it after you have achieved it. For example, you marry a woman of your dreams, but get bored with her soon thereafter and start looking for a new one. This is one of the most common causes of marital discords and break ups.

“There are two things to aim at in life:  first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it.  Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.” ~ Logan Pearsall Smith

7. Stand erect and hold your head high in trying circumstances

We often tend to feel demoralized in adverse conditions. We stoop and feel low as if we are bending under their weight. This happens both literally and figuratively. You will, however, surely feel better if you try to lift your spirits and also your head like a person determined to take up the challenge. This is the best way to get out of the depression. Try it.

8. Allow yourself to be playful and childlike

Children are known for innocence and simplicity of mind. They soon forget their quarrels with their friends and start playing together once again. This is the reason that generally they are always happy and smiling. Translated into the language of the adults, we should learn to forget and forgive.

“The great man is he who does not lose his child’s-heart.” ~Mencius, Book IV

9. Seek happiness and contentment in the present

Do not associate happiness with future events. I will be happy when things happen this way. It is like postponing your happiness to an unsure future. The better alternative is to try to postpone your sorrow to some future moment as much as you can. The time to be happy is to-day, because yesterday has already passed and you cannot be sure that tomorrow will bring any happiness.

“How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now, and there will never be a time when it is not now.” ~ Gerald Jampolsky

10. Be a master  of your moods

Be a master rather than a servant of your own moods. You are the ruler of the kingdom of happiness. Do not allow other people or circumstances to make you happy or sad. Do not depend on material possessions to create happiness for you. It is for you to choose to be happy whatever the situation. Do not allow your heart to break up if your loved one has ditched you. If he/she can be happy without you so can you be.

11. Wake up with a resolve to stay happy during the day

Resolve the first thing as you wake up in the morning to remain happy throughout the day. Spend some time with the flowers and plants in your garden.  Listen to the songs of the birds in the trees or watch them flying high in the skies. Or, go out for a walk in the park nearby. Remember your resolve to remain calm as soon as you sense trouble coming. You owe yourself an ethical duty to remain happy.

12. Your body is your temple, honor it

Keep the temple of your body neat, clean and well-ventilated. Do not dump garbage of dirty, negative thoughts and toxic junk food in it. It is really difficult to remain happy when you are sick physically or mentally. There is a close relationship between the mind and the body. Take physical exercises regularly according to your constitutional needs. Subscribe to some inspiring- thought- for- the- day service to motivate you to stay happy during the day.

13. Meditate daily

Most yoga and meditation gurus have complicated the process of meditation by using incomprehensible jargon about its practice and goals. Consequently most people tend to doze off during the meditation sessions and stop practicing meditation altogether.

Also take a stock of your day in the evening. Remember the little good things that happened. You were not held up in traffic snarls. Your car ran smoothly. There was no problem with your boss and colleagues. You had a delicious lunch or coffee. Thank your stars for a nice and happy day. This will fill you with gratitude and make you a happier person.

“During meditation your metabolism and your breath rate go down to a level of rest, twice that of deep sleep.” ~ Mike Love

14. Focus on changing yourself instead of changing the world around you

It is impossible to change the world around you. So stop fretting when people do not come up to your expectations. The best course is to change yourself or at least adjust with the people or situations you do not like.

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.” ~ Wayne Dyer

15. Make the best of what you have

It is always better to make the best of what you have rather than pine for what you think is the best. A perfect state occurs only in Utopia and the world you live in is not that kind of ideal place. Do not be worried about the imperfections. The word ‘imperfection’ is derived from ‘perfection’. Even the most imperfect situation has some small element of perfection in it.

You change your life by changing your thoughts. If the thoughts you think are pure, your life will be pure.

Do you believe that thoughts have the power to transform your life? What do you believe stands between you and complete happiness? Is it your thoughts or something or somebody else? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. change

·         ·         Source: Purpose fairy

3 Steps to Effectively Express Your Love in Your Relationship.

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The word love gets tossed around a lot, particularly in the realm of relationships. We want to be in love, fall in love, feel loved, and we even want to love ourselves. We seek it, we covet it, and we despair when we don’t have it. The truth is that the idea of love preoccupies our minds almost 24 hours a day.

So why then, do we never ask ourselves the simple question of “how do I love thee?”

LOVE-RELL

There is a very important distinction between how you feel loved, and how your partner experiences the love you give. No two people experience love in exactly the same way, so you cannot presume the love you offer is in perfect alignment with what your partner needs.

The only way to really know how you can show your love in a way that it can pierce the heart of your lover is to ask him or her how they feel loved.

In his book “The Five Languages of Love”, Gary Chapman speaks directly to this issue. He distinctly writes about how every person feels love in their own unique way, and if we can’t decipher and honor what that type of love is, then we reduce our chances of being happy with that person.

The most common mistake you will make with regard to this issue is presuming that your partner feels loved in the same way you do. Even though you were taught to give love to receive it, no one ever informed you that every person feels loved in a different way.

For example, if you feel loved when your partner gives you a gift or tells you how much you are appreciated, turning around and offering those forms of love to him or her is simply a projection of your own needs.
I know you want to give and receive the love you deserve, so here are 3 steps to effectively express your love in your relationship:

1. Simply ask

It’s always very transformative when I have my couple clients ask each other the simple question, “how do you feel loved?” There is so much presumption when it comes to love in a relationship, so clarifying and getting the true story changes everything. It’s not only enlightening for the partner asking the question, but for the partner being asked as well. We don’t take pause to ask ourselves the question “How do I feel loved?”

2. Just do it

Even if the way your partner feels loved seems absolutely crazy to you, it’s essential that you meet that need anyway. It may be a big effort in memory or in action, but the extra work goes a long way. Many couples feel awkward expressing love in a way that is outside of how they feel it, but stretching outside of what feels comfortable is what makes relationships interesting and novel.

3. Be patient

People don’t change their ways easily, particularly when it’s in the interest of someone else’s happiness. Your partner might not “get it” immediately, but with gentle reminders they will slowly learn, and turn conscious effort into habit. Keep your expectations of yourself and your partner in check, and be grateful for any progress no matter how minimal.

Have you ever asked your partner how he or she feelS loved? How about yourself? Have you ever asked yourself this simple question: “how do I love thee?”

Source: Purpose fairy

9 Truths About Letting Go of Opinions that Taint Us.

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I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ~Khalil Gibran

1. Smoke and Mirrors

The fear of imperfection and/or of not being accepted is, of course, an illusion. Who gets to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful or hideous — successful or stupid? Let me guess:  The tabloids or magazines, possibly Hollywood or the catwalks of Milan? How about TV/movies and the media? Spare a thought about who you give your power over to.  The various outlets that dictate what beauty and normal are seem to be pushing fake, in my opinion.  There are moments where true beauty can shine through these channels, but those flashes are few and far between.  True beauty and acceptance is in the eye of the beholder.  So anyone claiming to know what beauty or normal definitely is needs very close examining if they are not including every member of the human race in their rundown.

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2. Self-Realization and Repair Kits

When you can out these undesirable contracts you can begin to repair them.  We have to discover why we felt the lack and how we are feeling now about the same issue. Then we must align it to our higher self by breaking down the agreement piece by piece and offer it up to the light to be cleansed.

3. Inherent Beauty and Perfection

We need to look at ourselves and find the beauty inherent in us, not always trying to fish out our perceived faults. When you treat yourself with loving kindness and nurture your self-esteem with positive thoughts, you will begin to shift into alignment with your higher self.

4. Dissecting Agreements

When we were young we had no inhibitions and sang at the top of our voices, danced our hearts out (whether someone was looking or not) and thought we were princesses and superheroes. Then one day someone came along and made you feel less than what you felt about yourself. You may have paused to take it in – then you made a crucial decision. Either you agreed with what they said or you didn’t. That is why some of us can still dance freely and not be bothered whilst others cringe at the thought of dancing in public – this could be due to an earlier experience of being made to feel like you were ‘no good’ by someone who was only giving you one piece of the puzzle.

Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. ~Lao Tzu

5. Piecing Together Your Puzzle 

When I said that the person was only giving one piece of the puzzle I mean that they have a preference based on their version of reality. That is one person’s perspective in a sea of other possible candidates – ones who may have loved your form of expression.  This person could have also been a child, an acquaintance, a stranger or it could have been someone you trusted and loved deeply. The latter is often the case and can make the hurt twice as potent.  However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.

6. That Tricky Enigma Called Universal Appeal

You need to know that you can never have universal appeal.  You or your talents may not be one person’s cup of tea but what about all the other people in the world who will resonate with your particular brand of uniqueness?  However, ultimately you need to please only you. When you do this then you are immediately accepted and no outside influence can make you feel anything other than what you know yourself to be.

7. Acknowledge the Good

We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us. Why is this, I wonder?  Everyone has the urge to be liked and accepted for who they are. This is normal. But what we need to redefine is whatis normal? Every soul is special and has equally unique attributes, abilities and ways of expressing themselves creatively. There should be no judgment.

8. Identify the Judge 

When judgment rears its head, we must question the one doing the judging.   Tell that judge that you are in love with your differences.  Viva la difference!  Without freedom of expression this world would be a very dull place.  Without diversity in hair colour, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etcetera we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – baa-baa-boring!

9. Know Thyself! 

Only then will you begin to discover, on the deepest level, that which you truly are and what you have accomplished – not only in this lifetime but in the countless life experiences you have had.  Draw on that wealth of talents you have stored, that which you haven’t even begun to extract from your being.  When you do, there is nothing anyone can say or do to you that would ever hurt you.  You will be resolute as to who you are and nobody can take that away from you — unless you allow them to.

When you are living with the statement ‘be the best you can be’ and you are doing this with all your integrity and might — you have nothing to fear.

Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart. Strive to be and do the best you can in every situation, then you will be living in your integrity.  Words or energy that does not fit with your frequency or vibration will not be allowed to penetrate your field of self.  You will have become the master of your life and your reality.

Source: purposefairy.com