10 Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

Posted by zedie

People feel that arguments strip our love lives of love and intimacy, but just like there are two sides of a coin, there are times when arguments can even sew people together and make them closer. We need to realise that arguing is a skill, not winning them but putting our point forward requires effort. When you are in a long-term committed relationship, you will see seasons of change in your relationship. You don’t get to choose ‘not’ to ever argue or misunderstand your partner, but there are some sensible ways of handling them which can minimise the damage. We list out 10 such ways for you.

Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

Keep The Argument Private

Nobody needs to wash their dirty laundry in public, which includes in front of your family or friends. Keep things private, always solve issues or strike words at each other in private. Arguing in public not only leaves you in a pool of embarrassment, but an audience could only add fuel to the fire, making it blow out of proportion.

Take A Break And Have A Cooling Period

When in the middle of an argument, sometimes we keep harping on the same detail repeatedly and it becomes difficult to think logically in the heat of the moment. It is best that two people should get away from each other and muse individually about what exactly went wrong. Long term relationship means you won’t just say ‘break up’ and leave. So patience and distance goes a long way in getting people back together.

Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

A Little Compromise Never Hurts

You need closure to stop the argument and let peace prevail. Compromising is not a bad option, after all you are bowing down to someone you love, right? If harmless, small adjustments here and there save your relation, what is the harm in it? Not that you need to bend on serious issues which require discussion and a solution. Remember the person matters, the argument will end.

There Is A Good Time And A Bad Time For Arguments

Filtering what is important enough to argue about is primary, but don’t forget that timing plays a huge part too. Picking a fight right after coming back home from a long day at work or dissecting issues at bed time will always lead to a cranky behaviour and a bad ending. Skip the wrong time and argue about things which are ‘worth’ fighting for!

Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

When Found Guilty, Own It Up And Surrender

Nobody likes it when their partner puts them on a guilt trip about something. Sometimes, if you know you were at the wrong end, have no shame in accepting it and own up to your mistakes. This will only bring the two of you closer and you can lead by example, as your partner would be willing to do the same for you next time when they are wrong.

Be Open About Your Vulnerability And Insecurities

We all feel insecure or jealous or plain vulnerable sometimes and end up doing some immature stuff to garner attention from our partner which leads to petty arguments. If you love someone, it is only natural to feel these emotions. Instead of picking up fights and blowing issues out of proportion, just talk about it like a grown up and let them know what is bothering you.

Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

Never Say Something You Will Regret

Being in a long term relationship means you know your partner’s weaknesses really well, including the things which can drive their temper up the wall. When in the middle of an argument, never ever should you blurt out something which will end up hurting them and instantly make you regret your words. The argument will end, but will leave a bad after taste for the longest time.

Rebuild Intimacy Quickly

Never leave things sour and work out together to put things back on track. Intimacy is very important and issues often affect it the most. So chuck the ego, and just kiss and make up!

Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

Understand That Anyone Can Have A Bad Day

There are days when your partner will just argue with you because maybe they are having a bad day, and they know that you won’t judge them, but after all we all are humans, and flawed. So understand that sometimes, they don’t mean to offend you, and allow them to cool down before you point out their mistakes.

Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

Forgive And Forget

Forgiveness is a mutual gift that two people need to share often. You love your partner and they love you too, life is not a bed of roses and both of you will screw up things sometimes. So figure it out, solve it, forgive each other and forget about it. Love makes life beautiful, not complicated.

Sensible Ways Of Handling Arguments In A Long Term Relationship

The Simple Secret to Great Sex in a Long-Term Relationship

Posted by zedie

The secret to a sex life that lasts is a lot more simple than you may think. — The secret to a sex life that lasts is a lot more simple than you may think. Photo Credit David Pereiras

If you think your sex life is in a rut, there’s hope.

And the good news is that it doesn’t require a gym membership, a new wardrobe or an attempt at role-playing to bring sexy back. Rather, the secret is quite simple — pay attention.

According to a recent study, our sexual desire for our partner is rooted in one of the most basic fundamentals of a healthy relationship — being attentive to your partner (but really). Psychologists and researchers in the study refer to it as “responsiveness.”

The study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, asked 100 different couples to keep a diary for six weeks. Participants recorded their partners’ level of responsiveness (or how “special” they made them feel that day) and also their level of sexual desire toward their partner.

The results showed that when someone perceived their partner as “responsive,” the partner’s stock shot up. In other words, the partner was viewed as a more valuable mate. In turn, sexual desirability and attraction toward the partner deepened, giving their libido a boost. Hubba-hubba.

Your responsiveness toward your partner will breed sexual desire towards you.

How can you be more responsive to your partner? When he or she shares something with you, respond with 100 percent attention, empathy and affection. “Allow sufficient time to engage in mutual conversation and listen with an open mind — really listen, without interrupting or prejudging or showing off,” lead study author Gurit E. Birnbaum, Ph.D., tells Time in an interview.

Over time, the energy you put into paying attention to your partner will directly translate into his or her sexual attraction toward you and vice versa. And then suddenly — voilà! You’re getting down in the bedroom, kitchen or shower once again.

Plus, not only does responsiveness breed intimacy, it also allows us to learn more about our partner and ourselves. So truly responding to each other will have long-lasting positive effects on your relationship.

It’s only natural for that sexual spark to burn out over time in a relationship, but when you think about it, it’s also normal for our attention toward one another to dull as well. Now we know that the parallel between the two isn’t a coincidence.

Long-Term Relationships Associated With Reduced Testosterone

Posted by zedie

Why Is This Important?

Because relationships and testosterone are two things that define a man, and they are apparently at odds with one another.

Health & Sports News: Long-Term Relationships Associated With Reduced Testosterone

Long Story Short

A new study finds that men in long-term relationships exhibit lower levels of testosterone than single men or men in newer relationships. Earlier research only focused on the relationship/no relationship binary.

Long Story

Many a man has joked that he feels like less of a man once he’s settled down. Usually, that’s attributed to reduced engagement in things like overt womanizing, dick-measuring contests and other boneheaded “stereotypical male” behavior. However, a new study by researchers from the University of Sunderland and the University of Worcester finds that they may not be joking at all — men in long-term relationships (more than one year) consistently tested lower for testosterone than single men or men in new relationships.

The study involved taking salivary samples from 76 heterosexual men between the ages of 18 and 39. Men were grouped based on their relationship status into two groups: Long-term, and either single or near-term. This was a departure from earlier studies, which asked men to categorize their relationship status with vagaries like “casually dating” or “in a relationship.”

Across the board, men in committed relationships longer than one year exhibited lower testosterone levels than their counterparts. Neither age nor relationship satisfaction nor sexual behavior appeared to have any effect. If you’re tied down, you have lower T-levels, period. This is believed to play an evolutionary role, as men with lowered testosterone are more likely to be better caregivers and less likely to pursue additional sexual partners.

The study leaves a lot of questions unanswered, namely that of cause and effect. Since there was no baseline testosterone measurement, it’s not immediately clear that relationships result in lowered testosterone. It could be, for instance, that men with lower testosterone are more likely to seek out steady relationships, whereas men with higher levels may be inclined to remain single in order to enjoy a wider variety of partners.

That shouldn’t necessarily stop you from holding this little tidbit over your wife’s head, though.

Own The Conversation

Ask The Big Question: Is there a way to keep testosterone high while in a steady relationship?

Disrupt Your Feed: This is why I’m never getting married.

Drop This Fact: Testosterone is tied to winning – when your team wins, your testosterone levels rise, while the losing fans’ levels drop.