Advice

6 Reasons Why You Should Let Go of a Toxic Relationship.

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“There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.” ~ Karl Marx(composer)

I have been in a toxic relationship for almost 10 years and I know how challenging it may be to find the courage and strength to tell yourself: “I’ve had enough. There has to be a better way. I deserve better than this. We both do” and to finally let go of someone you once loved, and maybe still do.

6 Reasons Why You Should Give Up a Toxic Relationship

You let go of a toxic and unhealthy relationship not because you are weak, not because you no longer love the other person, but because you are strong enough to understand that there are times when two people will be a lot happier if they go separate ways than if they stay together. There comes a time in our lives when we have to do what’s right and to honor not only ourselves, but also the people around us.

Remember, it’s the relationship that you are letting go of but not the love you have for the other person. I still care about my ex boyfriend and I know that I will love him for as long as I live, but that doesn’t mean that we should be together. We tried, it didn’t work and we had to let it go, and I hope you will find the strength and courage to do the same.

Here are 6 reasons why you should let go of a toxic relationship and allow yourself to be happy:

1. Life is too short to be anything but happy

Don’t make the same mistake I have made. Don’t cling on to unnecessary pain. If it hurts and is a constant struggle… If it’s hard and makes you unhappy, then you need to just let go. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

“One of the simplest ways to stay happy is to just let go of the things that makes you sad.” ~  Nishan Panwar

2. It is better to be alone than in bad company

Don’t you think, not even for a single moment, that it is better to cling on to a toxic and unhappy relationship than to be alone with your own magnificent Self!

There is something so beautiful, so powerful and so unique in each and every one of us and the more we cling on to toxic relationships, the harder it will be for us to tap into our own greatness.

Detach, let go and learn to love yourself for who you are and not for who others want you to be.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” ~ Wayne Dyer

3. Who you are is enough

Way too many people cling on to toxic and unhealthy relationships just because they think that without the other person they will be nothing and their life will be worthless. Total nonsense!

I used to think that way as well. I used to believe that if me and my boyfriend broke up, my life would be worthless and that nothing would make sense anymore, but guess what? Ever since I managed to let go, my life became more meaningful than ever and you know why? Because I have learned to love and appreciate myself and to stop looking for my “salvation” somewhere out there, in other people.

Believe me when I say that who you are is more than enough and that you don’t need another person to complete you, but to help you see how beautiful you already are and how much you have to offer.

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” ~ Buddha

4. Holding on to toxic relationships keeps you from growing

Don’t get me wrong, I love challenges and I have this incredible ability to turn every experience, whether good or bad, into a valuable life lesson, but this doesn’t mean that I should make my life harder by clinging on to toxic relationships and drama. I believe that things should flow and they should be easy, and when they aren’t, that means something is wrong.

After being in an unhealthy relationship for almost 10 years, I have learned that if a relationship is hard, if it’s stressful, and if it takes a lot of energy and effort to try to make it work, you have to let it go, for the sake of both parties.

I came to the conclusion that if a relationships doesn’t make you a better person, if it doesn’t challenge you to grow and evolve into a happier and more loving human being, it is not worth holding on to. If a relationship makes you bitter, but not better, then you are in the wrong one.

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” ~ Robert Tew

5. Face the “ugly truth”

Accept the “ugly truth” – you can’t change the other person, you can only change yourself.

I used to think I could change my boyfriend and my boyfriend believed that he could change me. Guess what? Nobody was able to change anybody and the more we tried to change one another, the more resistant and more resentful we became towards one another.

We got so busy trying to control and change everything that we forgot how to live. We forgot how to love.

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others.” ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

6. When you let go of a toxic relationship you make room for a healthy one

There is someone out there who is looking for somebody just like you…

By clinging on to something you need to let of and by staying in a toxic relationship long after you tried everything to make it work, you deny yourself the right to be loved, to be happy and at peace. You deny yourself the right to be with someone who will respect and appreciate you for who you are. You deprive yourself of the gift of love and happiness.

Don’t let that happen to you. Give yourself permission to live life fully. To be free and to experience the many wonderful gifts that come from being in a healthy and loving relationship with someone who doesn’t try to control your every move. Be with someone who allows you to be who you are without trying to change and “correct” you. Life is too short to waste your precious time by clinging on to toxic relationships.

Let go and be happy!

Why do you think so many of us are afraid of giving up toxic relationships? I would love to know what are your thoughts on this topic and whether this is something you have been experiencing yourself.

3 Steps to Effectively Express Your Love in Your Relationship.

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The word love gets tossed around a lot, particularly in the realm of relationships. We want to be in love, fall in love, feel loved, and we even want to love ourselves. We seek it, we covet it, and we despair when we don’t have it. The truth is that the idea of love preoccupies our minds almost 24 hours a day.

So why then, do we never ask ourselves the simple question of “how do I love thee?”

LOVE-RELL

There is a very important distinction between how you feel loved, and how your partner experiences the love you give. No two people experience love in exactly the same way, so you cannot presume the love you offer is in perfect alignment with what your partner needs.

The only way to really know how you can show your love in a way that it can pierce the heart of your lover is to ask him or her how they feel loved.

In his book “The Five Languages of Love”, Gary Chapman speaks directly to this issue. He distinctly writes about how every person feels love in their own unique way, and if we can’t decipher and honor what that type of love is, then we reduce our chances of being happy with that person.

The most common mistake you will make with regard to this issue is presuming that your partner feels loved in the same way you do. Even though you were taught to give love to receive it, no one ever informed you that every person feels loved in a different way.

For example, if you feel loved when your partner gives you a gift or tells you how much you are appreciated, turning around and offering those forms of love to him or her is simply a projection of your own needs.
I know you want to give and receive the love you deserve, so here are 3 steps to effectively express your love in your relationship:

1. Simply ask

It’s always very transformative when I have my couple clients ask each other the simple question, “how do you feel loved?” There is so much presumption when it comes to love in a relationship, so clarifying and getting the true story changes everything. It’s not only enlightening for the partner asking the question, but for the partner being asked as well. We don’t take pause to ask ourselves the question “How do I feel loved?”

2. Just do it

Even if the way your partner feels loved seems absolutely crazy to you, it’s essential that you meet that need anyway. It may be a big effort in memory or in action, but the extra work goes a long way. Many couples feel awkward expressing love in a way that is outside of how they feel it, but stretching outside of what feels comfortable is what makes relationships interesting and novel.

3. Be patient

People don’t change their ways easily, particularly when it’s in the interest of someone else’s happiness. Your partner might not “get it” immediately, but with gentle reminders they will slowly learn, and turn conscious effort into habit. Keep your expectations of yourself and your partner in check, and be grateful for any progress no matter how minimal.

Have you ever asked your partner how he or she feelS loved? How about yourself? Have you ever asked yourself this simple question: “how do I love thee?”

Source: Purpose fairy