Our overall wellbeing, as well as how we perceive the quality of a relationship, depends on how sexually satisfied we are, according to a new study. The bad news is that one in four of us aren’t happy with our sex lives at all.

Long Story

Half of us haven’t had sex in the last month, and one in four of us is dissatisfied with our sex lives, according to a survey by Relate on the state of modern relationships. Among a wide range of findings, researchers report that almost one in six people said a good sex life is fairly or very important.

But the importance we place on sex actually, ahem, droops the longer we’ve been in a relationship. A third of those who have been in a relationship for less than two years saw sex as very important, but this dropped to 22% of people who’d been shacked up for 10 to 14 years.

The (getting) lucky ones among us who say they’re satisfied with their under-the-sheet time also report feeling good about themselves more often than the quarter of us who are dissatisfied.

Not too surprisingly, those in the sexually satisfied camp were also more likely to report having a good or very good relationship with their partner.

Not that we’re counting, but those in a relationship reported having sex once a week or more, compared to less than one in 20 of singletons who said they have sex this regularly. But, singles, if it makes you feel any better, 37% of married respondents reported they hadn’t had sex in the last month.

You can forget make-up sex, though: half of in-a-relationship respondents reported never or rarely arguing with their partner, and just under half said they only argued occasionally.

This comes despite the fact that men are more likely than women to admit infidelity (26% versus 22%), and are even more likely than women to admit having wrestled with the temptation of cheating.

A whopping 94% of relationship counsellors and sex therapists say a relationship can overcome infidelity, however only a third of respondents agreed.

The report also compared the overall wellbeing of single and coupled-up people. Eighty-four per cent of people who were married or cohabiting reported that they felt good about themselves, with little difference between the two.

But bad news for single people: only 69% reported feeling good about themselves. And they can forget seeing that number again for a while.

Own The Conversation

Ask The Big Question: If there’s no difference in wellbeing for married and cohabiting couples – why should we bother getting married?

Disrupt Your Feed: Are more men cheating than women, or are they just more willing to admit it?

Drop This Fact: The survey found that honesty, commitment and communication made the top three elements of a happy relationship.